Friday, June 18, 2010

An interesting... macon experience

Sorry, just a short post.

Today is the first time I have ever eaten macon.

It must be the most god-awful tasting stuff that has ever been invented.

I would recommend that you never ever touch this toxic crap with any part of your body.

This utterly diabolical assault on the senses is something I would not wish on Robert Mugabe.

When I was a child I bit the dog's tongue. It was one of them slobbery dogs which licked it's own arse. That memory was recalled when the macon came within three feet of my face.

It can't be that gross, I thought. Lots of people eat it. Well, when I put it in my mouth, my body heaved with the suddenness of a bear trap, wrenching itself away from the macon. I convulsed so heavily that I pulled a tendon in my leg and dislocated my jaw which snapped my teeth together and cut my tongue off

I could have been sad about my tongueless future. But instead I am relieved that there is no possibility of me ever having to taste macon again.

3 comments:

Jem said...

oooh no..I give Macon a very wide berth!

Simon said...

Jem it's fucking hideous

Mid-Thirty Misfit said...

I heard on some TV show that BACON comes from a happy place. Obviously macon doesn't...the fact that it's somewhat Taliban-ized may have something to do with it - they're not exactly a happy bunch, are they?