Dear Europeans, Cristiano Ronaldo and whingy white South Africans,
For the last few days, I hear you have been complaining about the noise of the vuvuzelas at games. As we've been blowing them consistently since Thursday night we haven't been able to hear you whining until now.
Well, quite frankly, I don't give two fucks. This is a South African World Cup. South Africans blow vuvuzelas when they watch football. Therefore, ipso facto vuvuzelas will be blown-o during World Cup matches. Surprisingly, people who regularly attend SA football matches (for example fans and players who have been attending matches for so many years that one without a vuvuzela would be ridiculous) have all their hearing faculties and have managed to play and communicate in this atmosphere.
Do you not think it is quite odd for visitors and non-SA-football fans to go into someone else's environment and tell them what to do?
Because you are going to your first or second game ever in SA, you think you have some kind of right to dictate the atmosphere, as if it doesn't apply to people who have been watching football here for 10+ years? How would you like it if they slipped into your w(h)ine club and told you how to run it?
When I watched football in London, some chap kept calling the referee a cunt... in front of what looked to be a 5/6 year old boy. So trust me, it's not as if football culture is better in other parts of the world. There's loads of shit not to like, and if you want to obsessively hate cultural aspects of our national game, then I suggest you stay at home and watch it on the SABC with the volume off.
We will continue blowing our vuvuzelas for these reasons:
1) The noise of 60 000 of them being blown at once is fucking fantastic.
2) It makes it harder for European teams. This is what we call HOME GROUND ADVANTAGE.
3) It is as much part of Mzansi as the Nelson Mandela is.
4) It annoys British people and Aussies. Two birds, one stone.
They're here to stay. Even if you whingy gits kick them out the stadiums, we will blow them on the outside. While you're having dinner. While you're trying to sleep. In fact, as soon as we can see you getting annoyed we'll blow them again.
Because you came and dictated what we can and can't do.
And you know how well South Africans react to that.
The vuvuzela is here to stay.
Love Simon.
:====================<()
(image is not to scale)
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